


started down, now looking up

by thatoneinsecurenerd



Series: expanding canon [3]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Internal Monologue, Other, Post-Break Up, Swearing, past Nico Flores/Thomas Sanders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-27
Updated: 2020-11-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 19:40:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27731668
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatoneinsecurenerd/pseuds/thatoneinsecurenerd
Summary: Nico doesn’t know if he’s justified to feel broken as a result of him breaking up with Thomas, but he does. And he tries to ignore it and go about his daily life. That’s made much harder when Thomas literally crashes into him in the same mall they met. And maybe after that, he doesn’t have to worry so much about their past, for maybe – just maybe – their future is looking up.You'll need the context of FWSA, as well as the previous parts of this series to understand this work.
Relationships: Nico Flores & Thomas Sanders
Series: expanding canon [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2010352
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	started down, now looking up

**Author's Note:**

> This one isn’t a ventfic, because I’ve cut my ex out of my life entirely. But I wanted to write something in this universe from Nico’s POV, and I also wanted to give these boys a happy ending. 
> 
> (I know I posted the previous part like 2 weeks ago, but I've been itching to get this part out there and close the series. ~~Everything I write gets out of hand lol.~~ )

No matter whether a relationship ended on good or bad terms, a broken heart took time to heal. Even Nico – who had been the one to break off his relationship with Thomas – needed the time to heal. 

So many nights, he debated deleting all their photos together, just so he couldn’t see Thomas’s smile filling up his camera roll and be struck with the reminder that _he_ was the one who took it away. He removed it from his lockscreen, as if that was enough. 

He debated deleting their texting thread, just so he didn’t feel the urge to text Thomas before Thomas texted him. Because _Thomas_ needed to be the one to reach out to him. _Thomas_ was supposed to be the only one destroyed by the destruction of their relationship. 

_Right?_

_Nico had been the one to break them up, so he shouldn’t have been feeling broken by it, should he have?_

Well, he did. 

He debated blocking Thomas on social media. Thomas was extremely active on social media, given that he was a world-famous YouTuber with millions of fans. He was always posting short videos and selfies. 

Though... not nearly as often since Nico had broken up with him. In fact, _when was the last time Nico had seen a social media post from Thomas since they broke up a few months ago?_ He couldn’t remember. And maybe that’s why he didn’t do it. 

But he still saw Thomas around his house, in the form of his memories. 

Thomas trying flan – homemade by Nico, though Thomas had wanted to help and tried his best with the tasks Nico gave him – for the first time. Thomas standing on his doorstep with a bouquet of flowers on Valentine’s day. Thomas’s spare toothbrush still sitting in the toothbrush holder in Nico’s bathroom – from times when Thomas would end up spending the night – that Nico had yet to discard. 

_How could he just discard a relic from their relationship?_ Even if it _was_ something as silly as a toothbrush. 

Places around town might remind him of Thomas, because he’d watched a lot of Thomas’s short videos at the beginning of their relationship, as if that would help him get to know the man even better. (You wouldn’t hear him admit – especially now – that he’d come to be a fan of the man’s content.) 

He couldn’t look at the Karrot King in the mall the same way, that was for certain. He’d look away if he had to pass by it, keeping his head down and a hand at the side of his face so there was no chance of the bright orange sign entering his vision and accessing the memory of his and Thomas’s first meeting and the inside joke it became. 

And that brought him to now: walking through the mall, head down and hand up as he passed through the food court on the way to one of the in-mall department stores. It was early December, holiday deals were in effect, and he figured he could get his Christmas shopping done early. 

(Thomas always put it off until last minute – despite his extreme social anxiety – and it drove Nico wild. But the ‘I’m-in-love-with-this-stupid-man' kind of wild.) 

(God, maybe Nico could have been buying a Christmas gift for Thomas this year and seeing his face light up upon unwrapping whatever colorful wrapping paper Nico found in his hall closet.) 

Nico couldn’t help but get lost in his thoughts. ( _How dare he get lost in his thoughts?_ ) He didn’t even notice that he’d managed to weave his way through the food court. He didn’t notice that he’d stepped onto the escalator to go up to the second floor. 

Truth be told, the only thing that could have pulled him out of his head was someone shouting at him. Or maybe someone- 

_Crash!_

Yeah, that would do it. 

When had Nico become so clumsy? Thomas had been the clumsy one. 

_Oh. That explained it._

Nico had hit the floor, and now there was a very familiar hand in his field of vision. He looked up – as if needing to match the hand to the face, to see it to believe it was true. And yes, it was. 

_Thomas_. 

Thomas must have crashed into him, and _he’d_ been the one to fall. Sort of like at the Karrot King on their first meeting, since Thomas had crashed into the trash can, and Nico knew, then, that he had fallen for the gay man. 

“Nico?” Thomas asked, voice filled with concern. He was crouched before him now. “Are you alright? Do you have a concussion? How many fingers am I holding up?” Nico was pulled out of his head again, and he was able to clearly see the two fingers Thomas held up. 

He could see the minute shaking of Thomas’s hand. He could see the worry in the man’s pretty brown eyes. And that was only because he knew him so well. 

“Knew” had to be the key word there. Because maybe Nico _didn’t_ know Thomas anymore. It had been months since they broke up, since they’d even spoken. 

“Why do you care?” Nico found himself asking, the words leaving his lips long before he could find a nicer way to ask the question that was running through his head. He must have been too harsh about it, if the way Thomas flinched was any indication. An apology was at the tip of Nico’s tongue. So why didn’t _it_ leave his lips? 

Maybe because he thought Thomas should hate him for ending their relationship - (because he clearly already didn’t) - so that would just add fuel to the hatred fire? 

“Regardless of our... history...” Thomas began. Nico could almost see the gears turning in his pretty head. “You’re still a person I crashed into in the mall. The least I could do is make sure you’re okay.” _So_ _Thomas_ didn’t _want to be friends with him again then?_ That _would_ explain why he’d never reached out. Nico could delete his number as soon as he got home. 

“But I suppose this gives us the opportunity to talk,” Thomas said, voice cutting through Nico’s thoughts. _Was this some sick form of karmic retribution for_ _the_ _breakup?_

Thomas stood, holding out his hand once he had. Nico grabbed it and allowed himself to be pulled up. He could feel how Thomas’s hand shook in his. He was sure _his_ was shaking, too. 

He allowed Thomas to lead him away from what had been his final destination that trip and back to the food court where he’d started his journey. And maybe it _was_ some sick form of karmic retribution, because they – by some stroke of (un)luck – ended up at the same table where Nico had first seen Thomas. At least... he was _pretty_ sure the table had been positioned in this exact spot. 

They sat across from each other. It was silent. There was an awkwardness in the air. Of course there was. 

_How could they be friends again with their history hanging over them? Why had Nico expected anything different?_

“What did you want to talk about?” Nico finally asked, hoping Thomas couldn’t hear the slight tremor in his voice. He could tell Thomas was just as nervous as he felt. 

“I wanted to talk about us,” Thomas answered. Nico waited for Thomas to continue speaking. He could tell the man was still trying to gather his thoughts. His brows furrowed, resulting in the little crinkle between them that Nico had come to recognize as Thomas having an internal battle with himself. 

“I’ve thought a lot about how our breakup would affect any friendship we might decide to pursue,” Thomas said, “as I tried to get over my feelings for you and move on from the chapter of my life that encapsulated our relationship. And I finally came to a decision. I just figured it would be a better in-person conversation than over text.” 

_Sick form of karmic retribution._

_Would Thomas really be so cruel as to reject his offer of friendship in such a public place, though?_

“I’d like to try to be friends,” Thomas told him. Nico let out a relieved breath. “I know it will be a little weird, at first, because of our history, but I think we can settle into a friendship dynamic in time.” 

“And if either of us catches feelings?” Nico asked, as if he wasn’t fully aware that he was still _very much_ harboring feelings for Thomas. 

“What is this? A fanfic?” Thomas joked. His laughter was fake. Nico wondered if Thomas had moved on from him enough that they could be friends without falling into some weird friends with benefits that didn’t include sex – just other forms of intimacy not typical of a male-male friendship. 

“If either of us catches feelings,” Thomas said, noting that Nico hadn’t been amused by the joke, “then maybe we can try a relationship again, if we’re both willing. If you feel like you’re ready to focus on something other than your work.” _Oh, Thomas’s voice sounded bitter._ “But we can try to be friends. And if our history makes it too awkward to work, then... It was nice to know you, I guess.” 

“Should we establish boundaries for this friendship? We weren’t friends before we dated. Do we know how to be friends?” Nico asked, rapid-fire. 

“We can figure it out. We can just... not do everything we did when we were together. Not like... _how_ we did it when we were together. Like watching movies, but now without the cuddling.” _Damn_ . Thomas gave the best hugs he’d ever felt. Other than those from his _abuela_. “We’ll figure it out. I want to do this. We can do this.” Thomas sounded like he was trying to convince himself. 

“Would you like to go see a movie?” Thomas asked. “As friends.” 

“I have to finish my holiday shopping, but maybe another time?” Nico responded. He hated the way Thomas’s face fell. But he _had_ to say no. As Thomas’s boyfriend, he would’ve _gladly_ dropped whatever he was doing for Thomas. But now, for something like a movie as friends, he couldn’t do that anymore. 

“Another time, then. I’ll text you.” Thomas stood. “It was nice to see you.” The awkwardness still hung in the air above them. Thomas shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. 

“You, too,” Nico responded politely, standing as well. “I’ll see you soon.” Thomas nodded. And then, they parted ways. Nico wouldn’t admit to taking in a big gulp of air once he felt like he’d been freed from the oppressive atmosphere of awkwardness. 

He wouldn’t admit to the butterflies in his stomach at the thought of being Thomas’s friend. He didn’t know if he was ready for it. He _hoped_ he was ready for it. He wanted it more than anything – except, you know, getting back together with Thomas even though Nico and his work were the reasons they’d broken up in the first place. 

He was sure it would work out. He would do _anything_ to make sure it worked out. 

He was glad he got to keep Thomas in his life in some capacity, after all. 

**Author's Note:**

> It's Thanksgiving in the U.S., so I just wanted to say thank you for reading. And if you've read any of my previous works, thank you for reading those. And a _huge_ thank you to those who have commented and left kudos or bookmarked any of my works. Y'all are so kind; it brings me the serotonin I'm constantly in need of.


End file.
